Suicide Chickens And Lightsaber Wielding Octopi




Loosey Goosey the Enigmatic elf shot a deer one day. It turned out to be the Grandson of a god. This angered God mightily, so he did what would to any other individual who did something annoying. He destroyed the entire nation.

However, this was no ordinary elf. Loosey Goosey was secretly the overlord of the parallel dimension and suddenly, he reanimated himself like the time Neo rose back up from the dead through sheer willpower. Loosey was angry and somebody was going to pay, so he marched upstairs to the god's doorstep and dragged him by the ear to the crater that was once a nation and rubbed his nose in it and said "Bad god! Now, don't you do that again!"

The god never destroyed a nation in retribution again.

StumbleUpon Toolbar Posted on January 20th, 2012 | Comments [2]

We Get It! You! Space! We Get it! We All Get It!



There was once a group of 3 friends: a monkey, a rabbit, and a turtle. They found a delicious lollipop and knew they couldn't share it with one another, so they came up with a competition. Whoever could defeat the jaguar that was kinda eying them up first got the lollipop.

The monkey went first. It was an epic battle, the monkey was slinging poop and the jaguar was kinda close to getting him as the monkey was hopping around. Eventually the jaguar pinned the monkey, but just before the jaguar could defeat the monkey; the rabbit stormed in.

Apparently, while the monkey was fighting the jaguar, the rabbit invented a plate of armor made out of spider silk to defend itself. While the rabbit had plenty of defense capability, it's offense was still lacking and eventually, after being unable to defeat the jaguar, the rabbit got tired and was almost defeated by the jaguar. The turtle knew he had to win and stepped onto the battlefield.

The turtle, who has a natural defense mechanism, took the time to augment it while creating a taser. 2 seconds after he stepped into the ring, the taser was activated and with a loud crack, the jaguar fell unconscious and defeated. The entire forest celebrated and the turtle was totally famished and devoured that lollipop like a boss.

StumbleUpon Toolbar Posted on September 15th, 2011 | Comments

Garish Displays Of Skill Sometimes Backfire On The Unskilled



The rabbit king, King Ukidolurble the Pragmatic was pausing to consider that there may be some practicality to looking both ways before hopping across roads when there was a crisis being reported by his minions.

Off he dashed, to respond to this crisis. When he arrived, he was appalled that there were drunk bunnies everywhere, showing off their private parts and generally being too relaxed when danger was everywhere, even when there was no danger anywhere. He demanded that the drunk bunnies be escorted to the sobriety area where they would be safe. He also ordered an investigation into how this happened.

About 5 minutes later, the investigation team came back half drunk. The king was furious and shocked. The investigation team was able to semi-coherently explain that the incident arose when they found some fermenting grapes and the bunnies all ate them. The king demanded that he be taken to this field of "fermenting" grapes (he had never heard of such a thing and thought it was just whippersnapper talk).

They arrived at this patch and he noticed there was an enormous bottle of wine that was on the ground and had remnants of the wine left in it. The king was old enough to know that this was the oldest trick in the book by the jerk off neighboring bunch of rabbits so they could score some easy bunnies, so he set off to the neighboring bunch and punched them all in the nose. The girls were never drunk again.

StumbleUpon Toolbar Posted on September 14th, 2011 | Comments

 

The Outhouse
I will regale your audience of about 12 with stories that I make up on the spot about random things. I need an outlet for my imagination.

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